


I am lost and I can never go back home

by AceArtNerd



Category: Our Life: Beginnings & Always (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen, Trans Male Character, also this is pretty much an oc for the main character slot, anyways uhhh Projection Time, it's mc, why does the gen friendship tag for cove and mc not exist yet????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceArtNerd/pseuds/AceArtNerd
Summary: It had been two years the end of the summer when Cove's mom had come to visit, and rather unfortunately it was right afterwards that Casey realized he was himself. He felt awful for hiding this, but never knew when to bring it up, until one day it just happened.aka me, self projecting my mc character with this piece of fanfiction because I have no chill. enjoy!
Relationships: Cove Holden & Main Character | Jamie Last (Our Life), Cove Holden & Original Male Character
Kudos: 11





	I am lost and I can never go back home

**Author's Note:**

> yes the title is from an evanescence song, because why the heck not. this is also a teen rating just to be safe? there shouldn't be anything too extreme in here aside from general anxiety-style thoughts, a lot of crying and mentions of a sprained ankle on mc. no, he is not a reference to the character with the same name from TMNT, though that would be funny.

It had been two years since the end of summer after he turned thirteen- thirteen- and Casey was admittedly in a bit of a pickle. As in, it had been quite literally two years since he realized he was trans and had told absolutely no one. Cove was caught up with his mom leaving after being around, his moms were busy with work and Elizabeth probably wouldn’t listen to him, at least in his mind. God, this was awful. He was fifteen and terrified of telling his family that he was trans and for what, that he had anxiety? He didn’t know if he’d ever tell them at this point, but he just...didn’t care right now. He needed to get out of his room. 

Without saying anything he made his way out of his house and to the hills behind it, carrying his mp3 player and a book with him. It was a bit more difficult than it had to be thanks to a recent sprained ankle, but he made it and sat on the ground. His mp3 player was a little old now, but he’d manage until he got a phone that could hold music for himself. Another few minutes passed by as he watched the poppies on the hill, finally putting on some music and letting his hair down while he hummed to the song playing.

Slowly he started singing, but he tried not to be too loud- if anybody found him here he’d be rushed back inside and that was the last thing he wanted right now. Unfortunately, or rather thankfully, nobody did for over an hour. By then he was singing out loud, but the album he’d been listening to was almost over. Only once the song he’d been singing to finished did he notice that someone else had joined him on the hill. 

“...Oh.” Casey looked away as one Cove Holden sat down next to him. “...Hey Cove.” 

“Hey. Are you alright-” 

“Don’t-...please, I need a second.” Nearly a minute passed. “I...I think if I don’t tell anybody now I might legitimately never say anything.” 

Cove nodded. “It’s important to you, isn’t it.” 

“Of course it is. I’ve been sitting on it for two years with no clue how to tell anybody and I feel awful for keeping it a secret.” At this point Casey was shaking and Cove rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Another moment passed before Casey started talking, but was quiet. Almost like if he spoke too loud it might get out to everyone, even if it was just the two of them there. 

“I couldn’t hear you.” 

Casey’s face got redder as he spoke up, now much more watery than before. “I’m trans. I…” And he started crying. “I was terrified that everyone was going to think differently of me, a-and I only figured it out after summer was over so I couldn’t say anything to anyone-” 

Cove hugged him and just let Casey cry as much as he needed to. His friend had done more than enough for him- the least he could do was let him get everything out. When he was done, Cove let the blue-haired boy go and get his bearings, waiting for him to be okay before asking anything else. “Do you know your pronouns? I don’t want to get them wrong and misgender you unless you need me to.” 

“He/him mostly. Sometimes I’m comfortable using they/them but it’s a little rarer.” Cove nodded. 

“Okay. Do you have a name you want me to use too?” 

“...Casey. I picked it before realizing that both of our names would start with the letter c-” 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Cove got up then and went to grab some of the stuff that Casey had brought with him. 

“You really don’t have to do that Cove.” 

“I should though, plus you’re going to have to get up soon. It’s almost dinner time.” Casey groaned at the idea of eating dinner after the mildly eventful afternoon before grabbing his crutches and slowly but surely getting up and sighing. A look was shared between the two friends, though Cove had been taller than Casey for over a year now. 

“...I’ll talk to them about this over dinner. Can you be there, or do you have to go home right away?” 

“Casey, our families are eating together tonight.” 

“Oh. Uh..” Cove laughed a bit. “I forgot.” 

“I know. I’d be there for you anyways you know.” 

“Mm-hm.” A comfortable quiet settled over the two as they started to head back to the neighborhood. “I’m not elaborating on the two years thing until I say it to everybody.” 

“I wasn’t expecting you to.” But then he stopped and thought about something for a few seconds. Usually Casey asked him, but it was worth a shot. “Do you want a piggyback ride back to your house?” 

Casey stopped too. Huh. He hadn’t thought about that, but- “What about my crutches?” 

“I can come back out and get them, plus we shouldn’t be too far.” Cove did have a point- he tried not to go too far so he didn’t have to worry about tripping on the way back to his house. A breath later, the blue-haired boy nodded. Cove grinned and just picked his friend up without really waiting for him to get on his back first which took Casey by surprise. Then he blushed. Hard. Either Cove didn’t notice or didn’t say anything, since the rest of the way to the Jones house was quiet. 

Pamela had not expected to see Cove carrying her youngest with no sight of the crutches needed for a sprained ankle anywhere. An eyebrow raise was all that happened before the two teenagers were inside and at the dinner table, with Casey not looking anyone in the eyes. Dinner went off without a hitch, aside from Casey wincing a little when being referred to by the wrong name, but he really had no one to blame but himself for that, right? 

The anxiety stemming from the youngest at the table was palpable even to Cove’s dad, with the adults sharing concerned glances between themselves before he started to talk. 

“I…” Casey’s hand started shaking before he looked to his friend, his eyes showing his worry before his hands curled into fists and he rested them on the table. “I’m trans.” His hands were shaking really badly and he felt like running. If he hadn’t cried so much earlier he might’ve started crying again, but by now he was just exhausted and anxious and terrified. 

A few moments passed with no one saying anything which Casey took badly. He got out of his chair and stumbled to the bathroom as fast as possible, not giving anyone the chance to say anything before sinking to the floor and locking himself in. He was so shaky that he had to close his eyes to avoid looking at his hands, and threw the hood of his sweatshirt over his head to drown out what little light was in the room. 

He started messing with the ends of his hair before the knocking on the door registered in his head. He winced again when trying to stand up and just unlocked the door before moving back and letting his moms in. Meeting their gazes was difficult, but after a moment they hugged him and joined him on the floor.

“We’re sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.” His ma had spoken up first. “We just needed a second to process this.” 

“None of us wanted you to think you weren’t still family.” At that he teared up again and gladly accepted a hug from his moms, though Elizabeth showed up by the door to see if everything was alright. Pamela motioned her over and the Jones family ended up in a really awkward group hug. 

After that dinner everything went relatively smoothly for a while, though adjusting to being called the right name and being referred to with the right pronouns was weird for Casey. It was good though, and he appreciated that everybody he’d known before coming took the time to learn. 

And two years later he realized he was in love with Cove. Whoops.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading if you got this far! I haven't posted any of my written fanfiction in over a year and a half mostly out of worry, but this was a nice change of pace. Unfortunately it tied into me reading an entire 320k visual novel in about two days which might have been a bit much XD 
> 
> Also let me know if I should do that confession scene from the end of step 3, because I am not joking when I say that Casey quite literally got wacked over the head with feelings.


End file.
